Life is full of surprises. No surprise there. Believe me when I say you're not the only who's had to deal with all sorts of things at once. You're not the only one who has to go through pain and suffering too. We all are. I'm not belittling your feelings or making you feel like you're not unique or that what you are going through is just the same old story we heard yesterday.
As I write this, I can't say for sure what I am feeling. All I know is that I've cried my eyes out, screamed my head off (although I did that inwards, which means I still haven't let off the steam) and surfed the net (yes it's one way I try to get my mind off of things). Nothing's changed. I see the world is still spinning as it normally does. The people outside playing poker (it's sort of a family quality time.. weird eh?) and the kids still playing about noisily while my little pretty one sleeps (with the head about 45 degrees elevated because she's having the flu and can't breathe well when flat on bed). The classical music I play for her when she's sound asleep ringing through my ears (quite annoying to be honest but it's for my baby).
I hold this little devotional book "Our Daily Bread" and browse through it. I know deep inside that there is a God and that all of these frustrations, anger and pain I am feeling right at this very moment is just something that I need to ignore because God is teaching me to be patient. The problem is it that despite my gift (sorry if I'm being immodest) of being a quick leaner, I find this lesson so hard to achieve. And I always end up going back to square one.
Blogging is one way to get rid of stress, personally. I let out all of my thoughts in hopes that these words reach the people I really want to say them to. But that's likely to happen. I'm the only one in the family who spends plenty of time surfing the net while the rest of my family just plays those games (well I do too, but I also skim through stuff).
To get rid of stress, I vent out what I feel. But this time, I try to do it in sites where I can't really be seen. I've tried doing that on Facebook. And boy. Did I get a beating (figuratively speaking of course).
I like to play with words and with my thoughts. I've always been like this. And now blogging my way through stressful emotions has helped. And I'm glad that there are some people who respect that other people have the right to go through pain too.
You see when you feel bad, people will likely tell you that there are other people there who have serious problems like not having food to eat or not having any shelter for protection. Which (I think) means that you have no right to whine about your problems because others have more problems than you do. Isn't that great? What's that supposed to mean?
We all can't have the same problems. And more importantly, it's not your fault they don't have food or shelter. We all have problems. And all of us definitely have the right to vent out our feelings when we can't shut it in any longer.
That's why I turned to blogging. It lets me express myself. You can see how disorganized my thoughts are because I was blogging my every thought along the way and they're usually not that connected.
There's also a lot of things that you can get with blogging by the way... But that's another story of course. Toodles!
